Written by Di Newton

If and when

Those two words are very significant. When someone says IF you finish as apposed to WHEN you finish it makes a great deal of difference.

In a moment of madness we signed up for the LL50 2015. My partner and I had been running for about 2.5 years and my niece, Cecily had completed the LL50 in the summer of 2014. She inspired us to get involved. I know there were many good people who had not been lucky enough to get a place, the race had sold out in less than 20 minutes. I took it upon myself to make sure I trained well and did not waste my place with a DNF for all those who did not have a place.

We would not run as a duo, we would go and do our own thing. I got straight into training and based on the training I had done for the Grizedale marathon and the Scafell marathon, I just upped the mileage and chucked in a few more runs. I wasn’t out to break any records, just finishing would be an achievement. I needed to know where I was with regard to the distance and so entered Ennerdale 50k and Tour de Helvellyn. Ennerdale 50k ended miserably with me dropping out at the half way stage. I had run with a bad hip from about mile 8. Tour de Helvellyn saw me drop at Martindale Church with runners lean. At least I had managed about 34 miles. I always take the positives. So I had two DNFs and the Lakeland 50 was not going to be the third!

After Christmas 2014, I did a few little training runs and gradually built up my distance. By February I was doing about 25 miles a week. I entered a few 10k races to keep the legs going. I had to have an eye op in March and had two weeks off. In April I did the Kentmere Ramble, got lost and ended up doing 25 miles. This was looking good now. In May I ran the Howgills marathon and although I found it tough I survived.

May saw me do the Pooley Bridge to Ambleside reccie. It went well and I was relieved that I could at least run to Ambleside. I entered the Lakeland Trails Coniston marathon a week later and stormed my PB. This was all encouraging. A week later I joined some friends and travelled to Mizuno Endure 24. We ran in teams and I found it totally awesome, running through the night and completing lap after lap.

I was concerned that my pace was so slow and I really needed to do more speed work, but I just love to run and if I have to put too much effort in I lose that love. However I entered the Whinlatter 5 in July and came home 7/32 females. Well, I can’t be that bad I thought!

So, July 24^th arrived and as we live in Kendal, we had decided to catch the bus to Coniston that day, stay 3 nights in the Black Bull and then return on the bus on the Monday morning. My niece, Cecily had entered the LL100 and we would wave her off. The atmosphere was electric. I walked up to Miners Bridge to get a better view of the runners coming up the track. Then when they had passed I trotted back down to the hotel. We had a lovely room. I had already enquired about porridge for breakfast and asked what time breakfast would be served. 8.30am. No, that was the time for the pre-race briefing, before we catch the bus to Dalemain for the start of our race. They would not waiver on this, so we went to the School hall for breakfast, where unfortunately they did not have porridge either. I had two croissants, one of which I just couldn’t eat. Not great fuelling.

Soon we were all piled on the coaches to Dalemain. Nerves were jangling a wee bit now. As soon as we reached Dalemain I made a beeline for the loos. Of course there was a queue. Ten minutes later I was done and sat on the grass in the sun to change out of my skinny jeans into my running shorts. It was inspirational watching the LL100 runners coming through the checkpoint and I wondered where Cecily would be. Our friend Stephen Braithwaite told us she had gone through Dalemain earlier and I knew then she would reach the finish well before me. I had a Chia bar and water and settled down. I had lost Richard in the crowds, but found him again at the start.

And we were OFF!

My strategy was to run the downs and flats when I could, and to walk the hills. I would spend as little time as possible in feed stations and I WOULD NOT SIT DOWN. I had told various people that if they saw me sitting down to kick my sorry @rse. My mantras were “Be relentless” and I borrowed Steven Robinson’s saying, “keep moving forward”. I remembered reading “When you’re going through hell, keep going”. These were all going to play a part in my journey today.

Richard set off fast. I tried not to. Already someone had lost their garmin and someone else had lost their map out of their backpacks, oh dear. The loop of Dalemain is a bit trying, I just wanted to get going on the path to Coniston. The weather had warmed up and I am not keen on running in the heat. I took it quietly along the river to Pooley Bridge and chose to walk most of the path up to the Cockpit. From there I got a scoot on and ran to Howtown. I was feeling good.

At Howtown, I grabbed one biscuit a drink and some jelly babies. I munched the biscuit as I left and immediately felt awful. I tried a jelly baby, still didn’t feel right. I struggled to run along the level bit at the beginning of Fusedale. This really wasn’t what I had expected. I walked up past the cameras and kept walking all the way up Fusedale. Where it levelled off a little I made a half hearted attempt to run, it was impossible. Now I was walking and stopping and walking and stopping. I had drank water, but was feeling dire.

At the top I had clocked a 38 minute mile. I knew this was no good. I stopped, made an electrolyte drink, drank it and set off again. I was able to run and picked up a bit of pace. I ran past most of the people who had past me on the up section and carried on running all the way down to Haweswater. This gave me the boost I needed. I was over the biggest obstacle now.

I trundled along Haweswater, passing the odd LL100 runner and trying to give words of encouragement. I was feeling ok, but worried that I had not eaten and drank very much, also I had not had a pee, but was not unusually worried about that. At Mardale Head the reception was great. I grabbed a jam sandwich and some more jelly babies to add to my stash. Filled my water bottles and then there was the beast that is Gatesgarth! I left the checkpoint and a few metres along stopped to re-jig my water bottles with electrolytes again. I had a bite of the jam sandwich and immediately felt like I was going to vomit. I stashed the sarnie for later and walked oh so slowly up Gatesgarth. I recorded my slowest mile in the history of my running, 44 minutes. Lots of people were passing me and I just gritted my teeth and did the walk stop routine until I got to the top. I met a LL100 guy who was also walking and we talked for a bit. He was a Dallam club runner. Then I said I better start trying to run. He said the same and we ran together all the way down to the bottom. It was done in no time. We parted company at the bottom and I plodded my way up and over into Kentmere. It was turning chilly now but I didn’t stop to put on my layers. At this point I knew I would DNF at Ambleside if I didn’t get some food in me. I decided that I would tell them at Kentmere to make me sit down and don’t let me leave until I had managed to eat something. Just before the checkpoint I caught up with Izabella, and her boyfriend kindly opened the gate for me. What a lovely smiling couple.

At the checkpoint I recognised Jacqui Marwick and told her I hadn’t eaten or drunk much. She was so kind, she sat me down and brought me a little bowl of pasta and a smoothie. I had a hot sugary tea and started to feel better. I looked around, there was a lot of people in there but nobody I recognised. I stripped off my top and there I am with my flabby white belly showing when Rob Johnstone shouts, “Hi Di”. Ha ha, I was past caring. I quickly put my fresh long sleeve top on. I looked at my watch I had been there for 10 minutes. Right, out the door, thank you to the marshals.

In my head I had hoped I might reach Ambleside by 10pm. If I felt well, this was still on. I was on my own now and know Kentmere very well. I trotted up the rough path to the bottom of Garburn. I met a German chap. I said it was a slog up here and he asked me what was a slog. He hadn’t heard that phrase before. He was worried about running in the dark – to which I explained there were no cows, the sheep would only stare at you and you might hear the odd scary sounding owl. I left him behind at the top and was feeling really good running down into Troutbeck. I walked out of Troutbeck and caught up with a young guy. He was hoping to be in Ambleside by 10 too. He said his family would be waiting there for him. I led the way through Skellgyll Woods down the road and there were his family. I shouted to them that he had found a new girl friend. I don’t think his girl friend was amused. I carried on and he caught me up as we ran through the main street. There were people outside the White Lion and they gave us a great cheer, probably because I was beating a young lad half my age! At the checkpoint it was 9.45pm – I was so pleased. Jo Kilkenny was there with the dibber in her hand. She told me Cecily had looked good when she went through. I was so pleased. She would probably be at Coniston by now. I managed to get up the steps and into the feed station. There really wasn’t anything I fancied I took a crisp and a drink of orange and got my water bottle filled and off I went. Then I thought I would just ask Jo if she knew where Richard was on the course. He had set off very fast and he had not done nearly enough training because of Achilles injuries, I quite expected her to say he had retired. She said he was still “live”, but behind me! I hadn’t seen him, but I was very focussed on my own survival for most of the time.

Getting out of Ambleside was no problem, I had reccied the next bit numerous times. I caught a lady up and we went up to the top of Loughrigg together. I stopped to get my head torch on and an extra layer. I was able to run down past Tarn Foot, where some guys who had passed me must have taken a wrong turn there and they passed me again! I walked from Chesters at Skelwith Bridge until the path opens into a field and I started to run. I just ran and ran all the way to Elterwater. A little shrew ran across my path! I was feeling really good, passing people and managing to drink and eat the odd jelly baby. I even had a bite of the jam sandwich – it tasted good now. As I ran past the back of the school I heard some very strange noises. I think it was an owl screeching. It was a bit eerie. I caught up with a LL100 fella just before Wainwrights. He wasn’t saying much. I respected that so just ran along in front of him, opening the gates for him until we got to Chapelstile checkpoint. I filled my water bottle and immediately left. I knew the next bit would be tough and it was, but it was a doddle compared to Fusedale! I found my way up the zigzags and across the road to Blea Tarn. I knew this bit very well. It started to rain so I ran until I got to the two benches where I stopped to change into my waterproof jacket. Debbie Porter past me and asked if I was ok. What a lovely lady she is. We had met a couple of time on the course. At Blea Moss, I was full of confidence. I had double checked this bit of the route a week earlier, the bracken had grown but I found the best route across the bog. I saw people going wrong and I shouted to them that I knew the way, but no one took any notice of a demented old lady! Ha ha. I heard a few people cry out as they got very wet feet. I got to the dibber and looked across, I must have past about 10 people. Their head torches were all over the place. I caught up with Debbie again and we ran together. I was telling her what a little star my niece was and how she would probably be tucked up in bed by now. We ran towards Tilberthwaite giving encouragement to any LL100 runners we saw.

Just before the farm I was astonished to hear a familiar voice shout “Aunty”. It was Cecily. In a mad moment I thought how really sweet of her to finish the 100 and come all the way back here to cheer me on! Then it struck home, she was still trying to get to Tilberthwaite. She had been praying for hours that I would catch her up and help her. She had sore feet from Braithwaite and had the “Tom Tits” all the way. Three LL100 guys had stopped to help her get this far. What heroes those guys really are. I told her that we would get her to Tilberthwaite checkpoint, get some food and water, get her feet checked out and see what to do next. She was less than 4 miles from the finish. It was a very slow walk and every step was extremely painful for her. She was also very cold. I was concerned that she might not get to the checkpoint, but just kept trying to keep her motivated. On the road she made better progress and we got into the checkpoint and she sat down. She knew if she took her shoes off that would be the end so she had some food and a hot drink, I gave her my duvet jacket to put on and we all persuaded her that she could do this. She would have been gutted in the following weeks to think she had been so close to that medal.

Up the staircase to heaven, that was probably the easy bit. Then across the rocks and onto the path at the top – she was so close to tears. It was very hard for me to see her going through this. I hoped I had made the right decision in encouraging her to keep going. The “What if” sentence kept creeping into my head. What if I had to get emergency help up there? What if she became seriously hypothermic? I was a bit cool myself, so all this was going through my mind. One or two people passed us and asked if she was ok. She really wasn’t but there was nothing anyone could do.

I had invested in some Mountain King poles that I intended to use only for the downhill into Coniston. I knew my knees would be screaming at me by then. I offered her the poles and she took one. I insisted she use two and we struggled together down that God awful path. I was disappointed by the lack of support from some of the LL50 runners on this section, but perhaps they were suffering too in there own way.

Once on the road, she started moving a little better. Suddenly I needed a pee. Well after 40 odd miles you would wouldn’t you?

We finally arrived back at the school hall that she had left at 6pm on Friday night. It was nearly 4am on Sunday morning. There was a great cheer from everyone. Cecily’s boyfriend and Stephen Braithwaite were there to welcome us back. She had her feet looked at and was taken home.

I sat on a chair with my feet up on another chair for a while and then went over to Marc and Terry to see if they could tell me where Richard had got to. He had passed through Kentmere. That meant he would be hours yet. So I put my feet back up and watched the people finishing. I must have dozed for a little while when I heard Marc shout me. I hobbled over and he told me he had a phone call from Richard. He was sitting on a rock at Blea Moss refusing to move! I told them to tell him to Bugger off! Unfortunately the rescue vehicle driver had been up all day and night and had gone for a sleep. Luckily for Richard a runner totally unrelated to the race had past in his car and stopped to ask what he was doing there. He offered to give Richard a lift back to Coniston. When he came into the hall, they tried to give him a medal, but he had to tell them he had DNF’d. He had runners lean and was not in a good place. I knew what that was like from my experience at TdeH.

We walked back to the hotel in time for breakfast and then returned to the hall for the presentation. I think a few people were struggling to stay awake.

From Ambleside I had been on track for a really good time for me. At one point I had been happy thinking I would be back in Coniston for breakfast and then, when I left Ambleside I realised I still had plenty in the tank, I knew it would be probably about 3am. However, I finished at just before 4am. I would not have changed any of this for the world. It was such an amazing experience.

We were privileged to see the 80 year old Legend that is Harry, finish his 50 miles. What an inspiration.

After my horrible experience up Fusedale and Gatesgarth, I told everyone “Never again”. I never wanted to feel that bad again, but you know what, well it would be rude not to!

I checked the results and I had managed 421^st out of 585 finishers. At 64 years old I was the oldest female competitor. I was as chuffed as a chuffed thing!